I’ve never understood the attraction of sleeping with a friend, is that not just a guaranteed way to lose a friend? Because afterwards things will never be the same. I’d love to have the figures on the success rates of this but I can pre-empt that they are pretty low and I will show you why.
- Feelings Will Get Caught
We talk about catching feelings like they’re a disease- its because they are. Most of the time attraction is less about wisdom and intelligence and full of spontaneity and shallowness. There is no way a girl will not question whether a guy ‘could be the one’ when they’re physically close to them. I think if you’re friends first thats EVEN MORE LIKELY because you wouldn’t even be friends if they were a total dick!
2. Your Definition of Friendship is Inaccurate
Isn’t friendship with sex pretty much just a relationship without commitment? ..Which in this day and age is basically just a relationship lol. Isn’t a relationship in it’s most basic sense just a friendship where you are attracted to each other enough to pursue a physical relationship? Friends talk about stuff, hang out together and enjoy each others company. What much of the sex-crazed millennial generation have failed to realise is that relationships are based on friendships. If you’re in a relationship where you don’t hang out, don’t speak or enjoy each others company then it ain’t a relationship #justsaying
3. You Feel Jealousy
If my friend is attracted to someone and tells me, my instinctive response is to rate that person out of 10, give my friend the honest likelihood of that hook-up ever happening and proceed to encourage them with my blessing or kill the idea. In a friends-with-benefits relationship, when you’re “friend” says they’re attracted someone and actually tries to talk to you like a friend YOU GET JEALOUS…. thats not a normal friend reaction. I’ll tell you why this is (without going too deep). This reaction stems from you valuing your intimacy with them because that’s what sex is! Even if you’ve agreed that you don’t want it to be anything more you are kidding yourself if you think you are in control, your tsunami of feelings can wipe out your decision in an instant and leave you questioning. You are not a master of your feelings, in fact they are your master.. sorry to break it to ya so candidly,
4. Ending It
How does a friends-with-beneifts usually relationship end? I’m generally curious about this. I can guess it’s when one of you meets someone that you want to pursue something serious with. At this point, you go back to being friends without benefits – whatever that is. You’ve got used to each other and your status in each others lives has completely changed regardless of how your sex was.
I think this whole arrangement is almost a guise for exploring sexual performance in a relatively safe place. It also seems that the sex is the forefront and everything else is less important, which isn’t actually a healthy mindset to take into a real relationship. To me, the whole thing is a fail waiting to happen but hey, kudos to every successful one.
